At the end of every year I do a self-check. These are the questions I ask myself:

• Did the choices I made in the the past year, big or small, have an outcome I was happy with? What would I change?

• Was I happy with the energy I received back from others and was it a reflection of me, my choices and the energy I put out?

… and finally,

• What characteristics have I observed in myself and others that I wish to learn from?

When I saw this quote, I felt like I wrote it. I’d learned years ago to be more calculated in how I conduct myself in almost every area of my life and... I learned it the hard way. It’s often the first piece of advice I give to anyone that comes to me with a problem. I’d seen so much go left, not only in my life but in the lives of others because it was something we’d failed to consider. This being considered, every year I evaluate my choices and make a conscious decision to do better in the areas I feel I’ve fallen short. Let’s be real… The saying Hindsight is always 20/20 wouldn’t be said as much if we considered this more. Taking accountability for our actions (seen or unseen) and recognizing the consequences that follow are keys to personal growth.

We can’t believe everything that’s said about us. However, it’s important to know when the world is simply reflecting back the energy we’ve put out. When hearing something less than flattering about ourselves it can translate to us in one of a few ways. We either become angry, immediately disregard it as hate/a lie, or it triggers our insecurities. A wise person will use it as an opportunity for self-reflection. With every interaction, an impression is left. A piece of our essence, like the trace of a fragrance left in a room. While first impressions can be tricky, some part of how we’re perceived by others can be true. It’s said that 70-90% of all communication is non-verbal. Our body language, our facial expressions & the energy we put off convey more than anything we could ever say. I learn this to be true daily. Let me give you an example.

I have been told I can come across cold, distant, and generally uninterested. Sometimes it’s true because I either feel uncomfortable, I’m really NOT interested and therefore distracted or I don’t feel like being particularly open at that moment. But other times I feel bad because the impression I’m giving is NOT the one intended. You could’ve just caught me on a bad day. One where I might’ve been feeling overwhelmed, upset, or sad and unable to focus on what you were saying. Regardless of the reason, it’s a perfect example of receiving back the energy I’ve put out. It doesn’t make what was said a lie or malicious. It just means I need to do a self-check, figure out why that person got the impression they did and if possible do my best to correct it. How we leave people feeling about us is important. There are exceptions to everything of course, but we must put our best foot forward.

I’m big on observation. I observe everything and it has served me well over the years. I have learned so much from watching the people around me and how they interact with people around them. Yet, rarely do I speak on or apply it until I find it absolutely necessary to do so. Watching people can, at times, be like watching a game of chess. How others choose to move and/or make decisions has been a real education for me. Learning from not only their mistakes but successes as well. Some people come into our lives to teach us how NOT to be while others come to show us our flaws. Every person in our life a reflection of our choices, thoughts, and intentions. So if you come up against a reflection that is displeasing to you, take a moment to clean your mirror and make sure that reflection isn’t you.

In the end, being self-aware is actually a superpower. The more time we dedicate to learning ourselves and improving upon our flaws, the more we will see that reflected in the world around us. Every year should begin with checking OURSELVES.