Dear Aspiring Side Chick

 

Oh you want this ring?

You want this life?

This pretty picture of being his wife?

 

I know what it looks like

How the view looks to you

But there’s more to this story

Then what you believe is true

 

Yes, Love is amazing

Love is divine

But it comes with the delusion of what’s yours is mine...

See, you can’t take the heart

It’s given freely

You can’t possess the soul of another being

 

Yes, for marriage it’s written

Since the beginning of time

When you sign that paper

I’m yours, your mine...

 

But understand what you’re signing

What you’re giving away

This isn’t a joke, nor is it a game

 

With this ring?

YES... I thee wed

But with it comes power to kill LOVE dead.

 

So if you want this ring

Baby girl, you can take it

But take with it all the work I put in not to break it

 

See, You can’t take this Joy

Without taking the pain

Think you’re going to take this sunshine

And just leave the rain

You can’t take the reward

Without the sacrifice

Think you’re going to take the love

WITHOUT the price of the fight

 

I know what it took to get here

But really do you?

Do you know what I had to give up?

What I had to go through?

 

Yes. THIS Love is amazing.

And oh so very divine

But this Love right here?

Yes. THIS Love here is mine.

 

It was built on MY tears

MY dreams, MY sacrifice

MY will not to give up this love without a fight.

MY choice to not break, To do what was right

And MY will to fight through the darkness to the light.

 

So if you want THIS ring?

Then now do YOU wed

To EVERYTHING it took

To keep this LOVE from death...

 

-JillianFelice 

I remember exactly what I was thinking when I wrote this poem.... Some may read this and think it's about a cheating husband but really it's not. This is more for that woman who looks at another woman's Marriage as "Perfect" or "Relationship Goals". The woman who if given the chance, would happily sleep with that next woman's husband because she wants what they have. Sometimes women can get so caught up in looking at someone else's relationship thinking "Goals", envying what they THINK the next woman has, without taking the time to understand how much work that marriage actually took.

Forever happy doesn't just happen.... I mean sure, in the beginning it's nice but after the honeymoon feeling wears off and you get down to the "sharing your life" part, things change. Marriage is hard work. Something I could've NEVER understood before actually being married myself. While ideals and fairytales say you get married and live happily ever after, its important to understand the amount of work it takes to keep a marriage together. In most instances, one or all of these (Sacrifices, compromises, heartbreak, rebuilding) has to occur in order to keep moving forward. 

It's nice to have a positive example of what you would like for your own marriage. However, next time you look at another marriage and you think "Goals" understand you could never know what it took for them to get to that point. Unless you're willing to put in the work you'll never have that. Think of every "from the bottom to the top" success story you've ever heard. Do you really think they could have accomplished such success without all of the sacrifices, hitting rocking bottom (only to rebuild again), hard work first?