The World’s On Fire But I’m Cool
“If a problem is fixable, if a situation is such that you can do something about it, then there is no need to worry. If it’s not fixable, then there is no help in worrying. There is no benefit in worrying whatsoever.”
I am told, quite often by my closest friends, I'm a different species when it comes to handling stress and worry. More so, in the last several years. These are the friends who have seen me go through what would break most people with no more than a slight frown on my face. Don’t get me wrong… I’ve had full-on breakdowns before. However, it takes A LOT to break me down like that. I use to think the way I managed stress was normal. Until one day I realized just how much it was NOT. My mind is solution driven. So much so that when speaking to friends about their problems I have to ask, “Do you want a solution or an ear to listen?”. With everything going on in the world today and really the whole of 2020, I can understand why you might feel stick a fork in you DONE, done. Everyone's mind operates differently. But, I figured I would share a few of my coping mechanisms in the hopes it will help you too.
When faced with stress or worry, the first thing I do is calculate. I run whatever scenario is troubling me through my mind and target all the equations I can change. My brain works like a computer. So, I’m going to try my best to give you a visual.
Problem —> Solution = Set it aside to work on later
Problem —> Can’t change = Toss it to the wind. We're not worried about that right now.
The latter is WAY easier said than done. Especially when you have control-freak tendencies like me lol. However, this leads me to the second thing I do.
I analyze… One thing about me, I may not see it immediately but, I’m a firm believer every problem has a solution. Some problems just require a different formula. Think of it like this: If the problem is 2x - 8 = 2, then we need to find the value of X to solve the problem right? If we don’t have the formula then why waste our time? Better to shelve the problem until given the tools to solve it. Our time is better spent working on the problem with all the information present. Are you following me? This is how my mind works in literally a millisecond. I pull out everything I can actually change, work on that, and forget the rest.
Once I figure out what I can actually solve, the third thing I do is formulate. A plan that is… I think about what my ideal outcome would be and using the information available to me, I map a plan to get there. Variables are a given, and all plans carry the risk of going awry. Because of this, ALL of my plans have contingencies. This is where self-awareness and observation become key. If you collect enough information you can pretty much accurately guess the what if’s of any situation. As much as I am able, I consider at least the top 3 worst-case scenarios and preplan how I should handle them. This reduces the risk of surprises for me. If you really think about it, worry stems from the what if’s and not knowing with most situations. Having a plan A through C can help ease it tremendously.
This leads me to the last thing I do. I execute the formulas, take all of my notes, all of my preparation, and hand it up to God. Honestly. Once I have done all I can do to solve a problem, why worry? Regardless of the outcome, you did your best! It will be what it is and what it’s meant to be. Worry and stress won’t change it. It’s like the ending of the movie Titanic. You know the scene… The one where the band plays as the ship goes down all the way to the end? Yeah, that one. The only difference is I’m gonna find the nearest thing that floats, throw that bitch into the water and jump in after it with my fingers crossed. Don’t give in to worry before you’ve tried EVERYTHING, and don’t worry about the things you can’t change. Find a life vest (whatever that is for you), grab a drink, and ride it to the end. You might as well enjoy it right?