Navigating Transitions
Moving is tough. Moving to a different state? Even HARDER. We recently moved to a completely different state and the transition has been really hard on my youngest daughter. She’s only 8 and had to start a new school in the middle of the year. Watching her cry every day when it’s time to go to school is heartbreaking. This is probably the ONLY time I’ve ever wished I had my kids closer together. I know God does not allow suffering without a purpose so as I drove away crying, leaving my daughter crying after our lunch date, I looked at the purpose of this situation and was reminded of a few things.
Transitions and change can be REALLY hard but bones ache when they grow too.
I think we’ve all been in situations where we are longing for change. We feel restless and we are craving something new. We are so ready for the next stage in life we beg and plead with God to move us forward. The second God speaks one of two things happen. We become scared, so scared in fact we become frozen in place or we jump into the new and the second it becomes uncomfortable we start longing for the old things.
Then the foreign rabble who were traveling with the Israelites began to crave the good things of Egypt. And the people of Israel also began to complain. “Oh, for some meat!” they exclaimed. “We remember the fish we used to eat for free in Egypt. And we had all the cucumbers, melons, leeks, onions, and garlic we wanted. But now our appetites are gone. All we ever see is this manna!” Numbers 11:4-6 NLT
Lately, my daughter’s mantra has been, “I want my old school. I want to go back to California.” But while in California it was, “I can’t wait to move. I want a new house.”. We rarely ever think of all the small details and adjustments that will come with our requests. It’s interesting how we can long for many other situations but our own as if there is always something better, all while completely unaware of the sacrifice it will take to get there.
The heartbreak of a child is heartbreaking to the parent.
Watching my daughter struggle through this transition is heartbreaking for me. It makes me question every day I see her cry if I made the right decision. It’s in moments like these I understand.
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalms 34:18 (NIV)
He is a loving Father. When our heart breaks, his does too. Imagine watching your child’s heart break but you know everything on the other side of the transition is good for them. YOU know the opportunity, growth, and healing that is on the other side even though they don’t. Not yet at least. You also know the transition would be easier if they would only trust you.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)
Growth and revelation are on the other side of obedience.
I made a deal with my daughter when I was at lunch with her today. I’ll continue to meet you for lunch if you follow my instructions on how to ease this transition. What does that look like? When I asked her the hardest thing about this transition she said it was the unfamiliarity of her environment and the discomfort of something new. She said it would be easier if she had an old friend at her new school. With this in mind, the deal was this… I would continue to have lunch with her if afterwards, she picked a friend to play with during recess. I know her doing this will help her establish a friendship and her discomfort will slowly cease as she finds someone to walk with. She agreed so I will continue to hold her hand as she eases into her new life but even when I let go I will still be watching in the distance. If I feel this way imagine how much better a Father God is to us?