May 26, 2012… The day our family would celebrate us officially coming together as one.

May 23rd would be the day we picked his son up from his mom. It would be then we tell him our wedding was just days away. He was so excited. All the kids were. My daughter would find out earlier that week after his son had already left to his mom’s house. Doing it that way would ensure she didn’t accidentally tell him. They had all already been fitted for their wedding attire and with it being just days away things would kick into high gear and the entire vision for our wedding would come together.

Over the next few days, I would reflect on everything we’d had to go through just to get to this day. From the very first time I saw him and being 100% certain destiny was at work to now watching that destiny unfold. It was nothing short of a miracle and divine intervention we were here. I can honestly say I wasn’t nervous at all. I was sure, VERY sure, of my decision to become one with this man. I knew the hardest parts were yet to come and this was just beginning but I also knew no matter what came our way we’d figure out a way to get through it. After everything we’d already survived I was confident.

Of course my girls and I celebrated and had a night out for my bachelorette party. I had an amazing time! However, being out and about around all the singles made me extremely happy I was getting tied down. Lol The dating scene just wasn’t my thing. My husband and I of course slept apart the night before and he stayed with his boys at a hotel close to our venue. Per tradition they went out too. I’m pretty sure he had an amazing time as well. I remember receiving some very lovely drunk texts! Although I was sure of my decision I still thought to myself over and over “Wow… This is actually happening.” I was so excited. I didn’t sleep a wink really the night before. I had a running list in my head on repeat trying to make sure I didn’t forget a thing. Admittedly, the thought she’d find a way to ruin my wedding did cross my mind. Since his son had nightly conversations with her while he was with us, I knew it was possible he’d finally told her our wedding was that weekend. Would she show up? Would she spend the day blowing up my husband’s phone? What could possibly go wrong…? I said a quick prayer and pushed it all away.

When morning came my mind was at perfect peace. I was so ready to do this! That morning I would get up, have my good friend do my make up, and grab everything we needed before heading off to the venue. We also made a quick stop on the way to pick up 64 small fish! My wedding was a beach theme and our centerpieces had live fish in them. I wish I had a picture show for it but I never did get one. Once there, I met my wedding planner and wedding party in our dressing room while being extremely careful to avoid running into my husband-to-be! The time spent getting ready, reflecting and preparing for this huge milestone was so special. My girls and I held hands, said a prayer and they walked me into what was to be the biggest journey of my life.

My maid if honor and bridesmaids walked down the isle to “Alicia Keys - Never Felt This Way”. A song I have loved since forever.

Next it was me. This was it. My Dad met me, put his arm though mine, kissed me on the forehead and walked me into my future. I walked down the isle to “Alicia Keys - I’m Ready”. My husband had chosen this song. This was the song he wanted me to walk down the isle to him to. He said it was a song common enough we’d hear it randomly and think of this day, but not too common we’d hear it all the time. Walking down the isle and seeing my husband’s face for the first time is a moment I’ll never forget. I immediately wanted to burst into tears but I held back because I didn’t want to ruin my make up. Not successfully though. A few tears still escaped.

The actual ceremony passed in almost a blur, the only constant being the look on my husband’s face as I stare back at him. The ceremony finished and we were officially Mr. & Mrs!

When I say my husband was ready to party I mean that! He rushed us through all the pictures because he was in such a hurry. He couldn’t wait to dance his way into the reception. CLEARLY!

We had our first dance to “Mariah Carey and Brian Mcknight - Whenever You Call” which was magical.

We even forgot to do the toasts because partying was the ONLY thing on this guy’s mind! Lol! But the whole night was epic! We literally had the time of our life. The whole night was going off without any interference from his ex-wife but that wouldn’t stop her husband. During our reception he would send this text to my husband.

Her Husband: “I noticed [son] hasn’t called his mom tonight. Any particular reason why?”

The AUDACITY! Once again. Well sir… We’re kind of busy getting MARRIED! I couldn’t believe this guy. We also couldn’t be sure she didn’t put him up to it. I mean considering everything else she’d done it would be just like her. Who knew? I’d also find out later just how deep she’d gone into our online wedding photo album. How I’d find out would be extremely, EXTREMELY strange but more on that later. My husband, ever the gracious one, would not reply but instead simply pulled his son off the dance floor from having a good time to call his mom. And that would be that on that. We were on such a high it would do nothing to effect our night. The next few days we’d be child free, doing any and everything. Generally just enjoying the hell out of each other’s company.

Aside from the track meet fiasco, in that month leading up to our wedding, nothing else would really happen. She’d gone dark on social media and pretty much disappeared. Funny story… After she’d completely lost her mind at that track meet some information would make it's way to me and a lot of things would start to make a lot of sense. See, she lived in the city I’d gone to Jr. High and High School in. I’d actually gone to school with her best friend’s younger sister and I’d grown up with and knew many of the people she went church with. The world is small. It’s really true the saying there are 6 degrees of separation. If you’re unfamiliar, Six degrees of separation is the idea that all people are six, or fewer, social connections away from each other. For me, this meant information traveled fast. Especially scandalous information. It would be a very unlikely source that told me her husband was cheating on her. Not just cheating though. Engaged in what seemed to be a full-fledged affair/relationship on the side with another woman. And not just any random woman either. Someone who went to their church and was her FRIEND. It would also seem this information had made its way to me before she even had a clue.

If I was really scandalous I would’ve blasted her husband and watched her world fall apart with a smile. They’d both definitely done enough for me to feel justified. But this? This was hard to watch. Honestly speaking I felt sorry for her. Not only that, the LAST thing I needed was for her to be single again. “Married” her was bad enough and wasn’t really much better than “single” her. But “single” her was intolerable. I kneeew something about their situation had been off. Happily married people just didn’t behave that way. It all made so much sense now. You want to know what was even crazier? After our wedding, it would be exactly 9 months later a baby came. A baby and whole conflicting set of problems. But it wasn’t our baby or our problems. The second I found out she was pregnant, with all the knowledge I possessed, I was certain the shit was about to hit the fan. She was going to find out. The woman he’d been cheating on her with was trifling. Imagine going to church with someone and dancing on the same praise team as them. Being at social functions with them as you compliment and talk about how inspired you are by them. All while exchanging knowing looks with their husband behind their back because YOU know you have a secret. Sounds like the basis of a Tyler Perry movie doesn’t it? It takes a special kind of horrible and a disgusting woman to do that.

Even still, finding out and knowing his wife was now pregnant, she would continue to sleep with him in their home and bed no less. She’d even try to convince him to leave her high and dry with a baby. What an awful human being! And here she was calling ME a home wrecker. Not even close. I didn’t care for the way his ex-wife handled ANYTHING that pertained to our situation but she didn’t deserve that. She wasn’t my favorite person either but no one deserved what her husband and that woman were trying and doing to her. It wasn’t like the woman owed her any loyalty. Yes it would’ve been nice but her husband is the one who did. That HE would do that to her, while she was pregnant at that, said a lot about him as a person. Very loose morals. The fact that this man had tried to address my husband and I in ANY capacity about anything at all, knowing what he was doing to his own wife at home was laughable. I hate to say it but maybe if she hadn’t focused so much of her time, energy and attention on trying to ruin us she would’ve noticed much sooner something was off about him. It wasn’t like this was his first offense. But she was so consumed by us that she completely missed it. She wouldn’t miss it for long though. She was about to find out soon enough and with it the understanding of exactly who she was married to… Nothing like a revelation to make your old life not look so bad huh?