What Do You Do With An Olive Branch?

What do you do with an olive branch?

Nobody is perfect. Yep. That’s right. Not even you. We’ve all fallen short and we have ALL done things we wish we could take back. The question is what do you do next?

I remember being in the 5th grade and bullying this girl so badly. The crazy part is I actually liked her, so I can’t even remember why I use to be so mean to her. I would roll my eyes at her and say things in the bathroom during lunch and recess to make her cry. When I think back on it now, it literally turns my stomach. I was SO awful to her. Later in life, thinking back on it as an adult, I realized the reason I was so mean to her was a simple yet complex emotion… Jealousy. I thought her life was perfect. She seemed spoiled and seemed to have everything she wanted. While at home, my own life was much more complicated. My single (but soon to be married) mother was doing her best but struggling. I couldn’t just have anything I wanted. What I also didn’t realize is I was acting out because of my newly absent Father who had recently decided to just disappear. This girl seemed to have a very present Father, a great mom, a house, all the latest toys, clothes, gadgets, etc…. and everything just seemed perfect for her. Eventually my guilt got the better of me, so I apologized. We became pretty good friends after that. We hung out, had sleepovers, did things on the weekend and everything. Even after I changed schools we still saw each other and hung out for a few years after.

“In becoming good friends with her, I found out some things that were quite shocking. ”

That perfect Father and great Mother she seemed to have? They were actually her Aunt and Uncle. She was adopted by them because, if I can remember correctly, her mother had some issues with drugs. I also found out during that time her Aunt was struggling with Cancer and going through Chemotherapy. Mind-blowing right? All those illusions of perfection I had of her were exactly that. Illusions. She could’ve felt as if her entire world were crumbling and here I was with the entirely wrong idea, making her life worse. That was one of my first REAL lessons in life being the giver of an “Olive Branch” and the recipient accepting…

“Fast forward 2 years later. Junior High School in a completely new city taken away from all my friends. I became that girl. I was bullied.”

First by a girl who was suppose to be my friend. She was a victim of the foster care system and lived in a house with other foster children like herself. She had gone through a lot in her short life up to that point. Things I could never understand. Some days I would come to school and she would be my friend. Things would be great, and we would be thick as thieves. Other days I would come, and she wouldn’t even talk to me. She would ignore me the whole day, get other friends of mine to do the same and say awful things to me. She would eventually apologize and then we’d be friends again. This would happen on and off for a while. But, that would be my second real lesson in life concerning the “Olive Branch”. This time being the recipient.

The second girl to bully me in Jr. High School I didn’t actually know that well. Years later, after finding my 7th grade winter formal picture, I would realize I’d met her a whole year prior. She had been the girl that night who’d followed me around, constantly complimenting me and telling me how pretty she thought I was. I remember that night being memorable BECAUSE of her. She was SO sweet and with it being my first year at a new school she made me feel welcome. At the time though, in 8th grade, she just sort of appeared one day and started being awful to me. She would seek me out in school just to say something mean, try to intimidate me and push me around. I’d heard it was because a boy her sister liked, liked me. That had never quite made sense to me because this “Sister” and I were friends. I was terrified of her.

“During that time, I dreaded going to school every day. I would be sick to my stomach every morning and I would cry.”

She was SO much bigger than me. She threatened to fight me every day and I was sure she would kill me. I tried many times to be nice, apologize for what ever she’d thought I’d done wrong and talk it out to no avail. One day she put me out of my misery. She just came up to me and swung. We fought. I lost and that was it. She got kicked out of school and I never saw her again. No “Olive Branch” there. That was my 3rd lesson. Not everyone cares enough to offer or even accept.

Now, present time, Adulting… Up to this point I’ve had SO many other experiences where these earlier lessons would’ve done me well. Though I can’t honestly say, I’ve remembered these childhood lessons when they would’ve come in handy most. I’m just being honest. I still make mistakes. But the question was “What do you do with an Olive Branch?”. The short answer? You always have one on hand to offer and always a heart to accept one if given. The fact is we all makes mistakes. We will ALWAYS make mistakes because we are not perfect. So many different circumstances in life will have you on the giving or receiving end of an “Olive Branch”. You’ll also have to come to terms that not everyone will even feel the need to offer or accept one. However, even in the absence of an offer or acceptance, your heart should remain open. Everyone doesn’t learn lessons in life at the same rate. A person could come to the realization they need to apologize or accept an apology YEARS later. You could BE that person. How awful would it be to finally come to a place of offering one only to be turned away? Better yet, how tragic would it be to finally come to a place of acceptance only to find that “Olive Branch” dead?