Blended: In Love Again
Bringing a life into the world is the single most powerful thing any being can do. Even for those women who are unable to naturally bear children, making the choice to support the life another created as your own and put them out into the world is that much more special. Regardless of how you become a parent, it has the capability to rock your world. It can become the only thing that matters. Being so close to delivering our baby meant everything else would fall away and not much else would matter. I would say during the last 2 months of my pregnancy my husband’s ex-wife was nonexistent to us both. Keeping all communication to mostly text and email relieved many issues and for once she stuck to it as well. I was finally to a point in my pregnancy where I wasn’t sick 24/7. It was more like 10/4… Lol. However, pregnancy was for sure taking a toll on my body. Being pregnant in your 20s is much MUCH different than being pregnant in your teens. Something about those teen bodies just bounce back faster. I’d started to ache in places I’d never imagined I could ache before. I was miserable and having such a hard time lifting my legs to walk up any stairs, much less the stairs at my job. Abnormally so. When I went to the Dr. to check it out they’d tell me our baby was laying directly on my pelvic area and I’d torn the tissue in my pelvic bone which is where the difficulties were coming from. I’d be put out on maternity leave early. My husband was AMAZING. If I needed anything, whether it be a food craving, a foot rub or even a cuddle he was there. He took such great care of me. I needed and wanted for absolutely nothing.
It was spring and our oldest and youngest son had started up track again. Even 7 months along and miserable as hell I’d do my best to be at every meet. You know what? Nothing would happen. It was the most peaceful I’d felt in months. Although there was hardly any communication between both sides, no communication was better than unhealthy communication. Maybe his ex-wife had finally taken pity on me and ceased fire. Maybe she too was finally tired. I’m not sure. All I knew was I was free of any issues at the moment. Aside from curious stares at the meets, I felt nothing from her. It was wonderful. She also didn’t come to every meet so maybe the lack of her presence helped. The last 2 months of my pregnancy seemed to drag on FOREVER. I was in so much pain I thought it would never end but alas our baby would come in such perfect timing. Funny timing actually.
We were a week away from her due date, the pain I was in was excruciating and I was so ready to have her I’d hatch a little plan of my own. I’d had my previous 2 children two weeks early with one of them being an induction so I knew I was in the safe zone. I’d go to urgent care and complain of contractions and pain hoping they’d just keep me and induce my labor since I was so close. When I tell you I put on an Oscar-worthy act of dramatics, I really did. After hours hooked up to monitors, being 2cm dilated and visible contractions happening, they’d still decide to send me home. I was SO pissed. I knew they were looking out for the best interest of our baby but I was done. She needed to come out. I think they could see the desperation on my face. They scheduled me a check-up at the hospital in the maternity ward exactly a week later, one day after my original due date which was April 1st. It was a Saturday. We had a track meet that day 10 mins away from the hospital. PERFECT. That day we’d pack up not only all the track gear but the hospital bags as well and put them in the car. I told my husband I’d do whatever it took but I was not leaving that hospital without our baby girl in my arms.
The day of the meet his ex-wife would actually not be there. My oldest daughter would not be there as well because she was with my mom. We’d arrive bright and early with the boys and I’d walk all around those bleachers, up and down the stairs several times just hoping to go into labor. Nothing. It was the day after she was due to come. By the end of the meet, I’d be devastated. NOTHING was happening! I was actually holding back tears of frustration. My husband could see it all over my face. His Mom had come to the meet as well and she was trying to console me because she could see I was miserable. We packed the kids up into the car and headed over to my appointment, although by this point I felt hopeless. His mom decided to follow us over. We parked, walked through the parking structure, and got into the elevator up to the maternity ward. My eyes were watering. I felt so down. As soon as the ding sounded and the doors open up to maternity, my water broke. My head flew up! Sad tears turned happy.
Me: “My water just broke!” I had on a fitted midi dress so they could see the water leaking on the floor of the elevator. My husband and his Mom both looked up smiling. The boys looked scared.
My M-I-L: Smiling, “Looks like you get to stay!”
I looked over to my husband smiling. He was cheesing SO hard but I could also see his nervousness below the surface. His son had been born via C-section so he’d never seen a natural birth. He grabbed my hand and we walk out of the elevator. Because I already had an appointment, check-in was easy. They already had a bed for me. However, instead, we’d tell them my water broke in the elevator so they could check me in to stay.
I called my Mom to let her know so she could come to meet us up at the hospital. She got there within the hour, picked up the boys to take them to my Dad and came back in record time.
I got my epidural as soon as I hit 3cm and was pretty high the duration of my labor. I religiously clicked my drug button every 10 mins. I think I doped myself up so much I didn’t actually feel anything until 5 days later. I also couldn’t walk that well either. I have to say she was the easiest child-birth I’ve ever had. I didn’t feel anything. My husband stayed by my side the entire time. He was amazing. Our mothers were both in the room and we pretty much had normal conversation up until it was time for me to push. I’m sure they’d say I was much funnier than they were since I was heavily under the influence of my epidural and whatever else it was they’d given me. My husband’s mom could not stop laughing at me and he found me pretty funny himself. I still can’t tell you what exactly it was I’d said to make them laugh so hard. I even FaceTimed WBF in my drugged state to tell her I was in labor. She found me funny as well. When it came time for me to push my husband was a soldier. He didn’t even flinch. He looked nervous, yes, but he held my leg in place for me to push and ACTUALLY watched her come out. I thought he’d be too nervous to take in that particular view but he did it and he cut her umbilical cord too. When the nurse laid her on my chest I instantly felt what it was like to fall in love again. She was BEAUTIFUL! The perfect mix of us both.
I’d also never seen him look at me in quite that way before. Almost amazement… He kissed me on the cheek and whispered in my ear “You did so good. I love you.” and I was in love with him too all over again. We did it. We’d successfully brought into the world a piece of me and a piece of him. She was perfect. It would be a few days later during an email exchange with his ex-wife she tells us she’d heard we had the baby and “Congratulations on your new bundle” … I didn’t even know what to make of it. We’d had 2 months of virtual peace and not one issue out of her. Was this it? Had the white flag been thrown? We’re things finally going to get back to a more peaceful place? I didn’t think this woman could shock me more than she already had but you know what they say... “Knowing is not necessarily accepting and what shocks us most is having no idea why we should be so shocked.”